befriending the darkness. inviting the shadows to pull up a chair and stay awhile. i’ve always run from the hidden parts of myself, but recently a change has ocurred. i no longer feel the need to run or hide away from the darkness. afterall if God is the maker of all things, then my darkness is as welcome in His eyes as is my light…both a part of His creation.
a freedom enters in when i stop running and share the space with my shadows. also a confidence has been restored that i have never known. something about accepting all parts of myself brings a freshness to the soul and an ease to the mind.
it’s not that i feel corrupted or even devious…well perhaps a bit devious. accepting the edge of my persoality and not worrying if it offends. my intent is not to offend, but to be authentic with who i am. if i offend perhaps it’s for a good reason or creates an authentic conversation about why i see the world differently or even an opportuntiy to have my worldview challenged and shifted. i’m tired of trying to get it right, of trying to fulfill some false image of doing good. there are days i don’t want to do good, but want to be wild, free, liberated. i want to live into the fullness of how i’ve been created and live that passionately into it’s desired end. this may seem a contradiction at times and i’m ok with that. life’s too short not to be the contradiction if that’s what’s going on inside. let the contradiction run it’s course. i’m sure there is plenty it’s trying to teach me and to create in the world.
cheers to the darkness. amen to the shadows. liberate. love. free the fullness of thy self and know thy self to be true as God intended His creation to be!
big love,
z
ubuntu 
Zane, you have been on a quite a journey my dear friend. I have read many of the posts, and just came to this one.
Amazingly enough, I still hear all your voice so full. When you left for Kenya and were discovering all that life had ahead of you, you wrote alot, I am glad to hear your voice shine through again in that pursuit.
Keep discovering, i love you.