transitioning home after 4 months on the road. it’s a wonderful thing having the opportunity to step away these past few months. to see a tornado hitting your life and deciding to lean in to it. forget the house insurance, the life insurance and all possible means of protecting yourself from the oncoming damage of the storm…rather run into it, meet it head on, journey into it’s eye and let it break you, let it spin and hurt. venture into it’s invitation to be changed.
returning now to what used to be home after being thrown around different parts of the world comes with it all kinds of mixed emotions. it’s like running a mad sprint for hours and then all of a sudden stopping. you have so much momentum pushing you forward, a rather strong pace that has been set and now…listening, pondering, looking around and seeing what’s happened as a result of the tornado.
man it feels awesome! i was scared as shit to venture out…so many reasons to stay home and protect, contract, stay safe. these past 4 months of living the journey has changed my life forever. i don’t know if it’s still setting in, but for the first time in my life i no longer feel attached to an outcome. like open cupped hands with water being poured in and overflowing….there’s no point in grasping for something you can never catch. the point is to enjoy the sensation, the pleasure of being connected to the water in your hands, the earth under your feet, the wind blowing past your body and the smell and sounds that surround you. no attempt at grasping at them will keep them in place.
i’ve realized more than ever that i possess nothing, yet am connected to everything. now is the time to let the lessons of the tornado to settle in, to ground my feet for the present time and enjoy being back in austin. thankful for my community…family, friends, the ctc team…and let life find it’s way after the long journey that has been traveled.