sink or swim?

success or failure? sink or swim? get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’?

these are some of the questions i have tossing around in my head as i prepare myself for tomorrow…my first day back in the ctc office usa. i’ve been away these last 3 months in kenya and so much has taken place. not sure really where to begin, but so much has changed.

from april to august 7 teams with over 70 volunteers have worked with ctc, transitioning nathan dillon and jeremiah kuria as our kenya director, the 6 week filming of an upcoming documentary by aaron bratcher, as well as a 6 week intensive evaluation by david simpson of our malaika mums/canvas bag project, hosting a ctc open day, evaluation of all ctc programs, staff and job descriptions and last but certainly not least 5 car batteries and God knows how many other repairs later and here we are…back in the u.s. of a. about to jump back into what feels like a very new organization.

it’s odd after doing this for the past 9 years and now for the first time to be doing ctc full time it feels different. different in the sense that it feels that something new is stirring and i’m not quite sure what to make of it.  i’ve been praying and thinking about this quite a bit and i go back and forth feeling anxious and excited. this all goes back to the failure or success thing…what is going to happen??

you invest all of yourself into something that you never really intended to start. so many dynamic and amazing individuals and communities jump on board and fuel this vision into what is now a living breathing organization. but….where do we go from here?

my wife just walked in and posed me a question from a recent film…”what do you love to do?” it was obviously rhetorical because her response was…”for you it is to help people.” i think those of you who have been with ctc to kenya and who have spent time with our team know this is true. we love not only to help people, but we love simply being with people. learning about who they are and letting them become apart of who we are.

but is this desire sustainable? is this approach through relationships to community development something that will last and make an imprint for the good of the world?

success or failure? sink or swim? get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’?

these are the questions i go to bed with tonight as i reflect on what awaits with our new beginning tomorrow.

big love,



  1. Zane – My thoughts and prayers are with you as you work through the ‘mysteries’ of ministry. Your thoughts compel introspection, as well, as I pursue new opportunities in the realm of employment while reminded of the realities of opportunity within other parts of our world. May God bless your ministry to our brothers and sisters in Kenya. Thank you for carrying out this important work and I look forward to seeing you and Natalie in the near future. Love in Christ, Shane

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